The Shadow

 Hide, Vanish, Burn

in the run.. 

of the race of rising. 

Hide, Vanish, Burn

in the run.. 

of the race of rising. 

From dust you shall rise.. 

You may be just a speck of dust.. 

just a tiny dust particle... 

But with time you grow into a storm

It is just one speck that rises

to the clouds to become the force to reckon with.. 

No matter how small you feel you are.. 

no matter.. how tiny,  how unworthy

keep moving 

keep learning

keep growing

keep collecting other specks and you shall become

bigger than you ever imagined. 

in the dark night as you walk

and moon showers it's light on you

you shall see yourself

you shall see your shadow rising 

As the shadow rises.. 

it gets bigger

Rushing towards the sky.. 

growing and growing 

After the dark night, as light falls on you

the shadow grows and touches the cloud.. 

but be aware 

that gravity doesn't release you 

that your feet remain in touch with the ground

only then shall you rise higher

or your shadow shall fluffer in the empty void of the infinite space..

So let the shadow grow and remain grounded

then only shall you live.. 

In real terms 

Not an imaginary life 

Not a myth 

Not a lie

You live the truth

So let the light fall on you 

let us see your shadow touch the sky 

but only if you remain grounded.. 

shall your shadow grow 

to unimaginable heights.. 

Hide, Vanish, Burn

in the run.. 

of the race of rising. 

Hide, Vanish, Burn

in the run.. 

of the race of rising. 

-SA

Un-Love

 Can you unlove someone after you have felt love? 

What would it feel like? 

Would you erase them in your mind? 

Would their not being around, not bother you? 

It is said that Hate is not the Antithesis of love, 

But indifference. 

Would you be indifferent to them, 

If they don't want you for whatever reason? 

Or, You will wish them well always.

Can you wish them worse if you have loved them? 

Can you unlove someone who mistreated you? 

Or, would you just let them go and hope they find peace? 

Would the flame be lit after decades of separation? 

Would love be alive waiting to be reignited? 

Sometimes it is better to forget.. 

But would your dormant love wake again? 

If they want to be a part of your life? 

Even if they don't;

Would you be fine with loving them from afar?

Can you unlove someone-

 you have truly loved and admired? 

Can you call your love a mistake? 

Can you agree you were a fool? 

The probability of two people wanting the same things is rare.. 

Would you resent them for not wanting you? 

Can you just love without its reciprocation? 

Does love come in twos? 

Can only one person be in love? 

They say love is the freedom to be who you are 

in your lover's company..

They say love is freedom.

Do you really want to bound your love? 

Can you unlove after you have loved? 

- SA

Challenges

Life throws different challenges at us. It is what we do is what becomes of us.  Influence is a major factor in our lives. Some of us are inspired by great personalities while some are influenced by the notorious ones. We are all drawn to what is underneath us. 

Writing as a process..

 My blog here is a proof that though I write. I have issues with sitting to do the act. As the frequency of the posts are sparse. I sometimes wonder about all the acting roles that I have done. Would I have completed them if I knew that I could escape it. Acting is a group activity you do it with other people so there is a social stigma attached with pissing off so many people with writing you are usually dealing with yourself. So, when you give up it is your shame. A personal one. I have pissed off so many people with not honoring my writing commitments that I have lost count. Though I have completed every project that I was paid for. The fact that I need money I struggle through the hell my mind puts me through and I come out on the other side.  So, even though I would like to give up but since I have already spent the money. I have no other way than to write. All the scripts that I have written have been reviewed well. The biggest critic I have I feel is inside,  me. I know that if I sit and write I would succeed in coming up with a decent script but sitting is a problem. 

I read somewhere, "A page at a time, A day at a time". This gives me hope. Also I understand that to achieve any kind of success you need a mental discipline to go through what makes you most uncomfortable. With acting I was able to do that because the commitment was with other people and I had to fulfill it and now I have fun with it. The most difficult part is over I have done enough roles well that even if I know I can't do something well I understand by experience I will be able to pull through as I have past experiences to rely on. With writing all my good experiences have not been of any use. I can't shake of the feeling that I am going to fail. 

But One thing that I understand is that if I do it. It will be fine. This is one reason I am able to do some projects. One that I am writing and the narration is tomorrow. I know that I will be able to pull through. What else is there to do The shoot is planned in October and we are going for scouting of the locations. So yes there is no other way but to do it. Also the money has been spent long back. 

I will check in tomorrow and update about how it turned out though I am clueless at the present moment. See ya in 30 hours.  

After 60 hours..

Ola, Friends.. I did manage to write and write well that was accepted and loved. 

So rules to be a writer.. 

1. Don't be scared of the blank page..

2. Scribble in a side document If you need to.. 

3. Write Random stuff around or of the story. 

4. Once you feel ready, start on the main document. 

5. Use Music if you are distracted. 

6. Stop checking messages. Every time you check a message it takes more than 20 minutes to regain the flow. 

7. Lock the door and write. It is okay if you are not making too much sense. 

8. Fear is inherent. The fear of being a terrible writer will never go away. Face it. 

9. Keep talking to yourself. Once you have a victory share it. Like I am doing now. 

10. Remember, Writing is possible only if you sit down. So take a seat and type away. 

बिखरते देखा है उसे जो आसमान की ओर बढ़ा

 

बिखरते देखा है उसे जो आसमान की ओर बढ़ा

टूटते देखा उसे भी जो तारों से जा मिला

नहीं मिलती किसी को भी पूरी पूरी  ज़िंदगी

कुछ ना कुछ तो छुट ही जाता है

कुछ ना कुछ तो रह ही जाता है

बिखरोगे भी टूटोगे भी

और तब जो कुछ बचेगा

वही तुम होगे

 

 

मत बनाओ सीमाए अपने लिये

चलने दो जो चल रहा हो

होने दो जो हो रहा हो

हवा का जो रुख हो उसके साथ चलते ही रहो

दूसरी ओर दौडोगे तो थक ही जाओगे

हाँ , बुझ ही जाओगे

 

जो करना चाहते हो तुम वही करो

पर जिद्दी ना बनो अकडू ना बनो

वरना टूट जाओगे वरना पिस जाओगे

क्यूंकि हर कोई बिखरता है हर कोई पिघलता है हर कोई टूट जाता है...

 

इसलिए

जिस तरफ हवा का रुख हो उसी तरफ चलना

करना वही जो तेरा दिल करे

पर रुक कर साँस भी ले लेना

कुछ खा लेना, थोडा आराम कर लेना

नहीं कह रहा मैं की अपने सपनो को छोर देना

भागना उनके पीछे भी

पर भागते भागते, जीना ना छोर देना  

अपनों को ना खो देना

तस्वीरों को धुंधलाने ना देना

पाना ही हर कुछ नहीं होता

कुछ कुछ दूसरों के लिये भी कर देना

अकेले कहाँ तक चलोगे

कभी कभी इधर उधर भी झांक लेना

ज़रूर करना तुम अपने सपनो को पूरा

पर

ए  दोस्त, जिद्द ना करना...

Soliloquy- True Lover

Character: Kathrin 

What is she going through : She has to decide whether she wants to choose to stay with Kevin or let her Father go bankrupt and lose his mind. 

"Do I have a choice? I am asked to sacrifice who I am as If I have no identity of my own. Like in ancient times.. People sacrificed someone from the village to save themselves from the wrath of Gods.. I, Kathrin am sacrificed at the altar. 

I will be married day after to someone my father owes money too.. 

Do I have to do this? Why should I go through with this. Isn't caring for the child and their well being a parent's duty.. Why then it is my duty to save them in the time of crisis?

I am a child too..  I believe last autumn my mother said.. 'Oh, You won't understand it.. you are just a child.. '

Wooo.. the child has turned savior in a matter of months.. 

Is life a series of conveniences that everyone puts on everyone else.. 

My family needs me.. to save them from poverty.. 

save my siblings from homelessness.. 

save my father's fall from grace.. 

I am expected to heal his failing heart by marrying a stranger.. 

He did promise a pound of flesh to shylock but it shall be taken from his child's heart this time.. 

What will I tell Kevin??? 

My promises of forever that I made on my fifteenth were mere promises.. 

I have been betrayed by my own blood.. 

I have no heart to betray him.. My heart has been snatched by a stranger to keep locked as a ransom. 

I will not betray him. I will meet him tomorrow. 

We will plan tomorrow as if it were our last. 

I will divide the day in four parts. youth, adulthood, middle age and  the old.. 

I will be that fly who lives only for a day.. 

Kevin, I love and I always will.. we have one day.. and I shall perish from his life. 

I don't have the heart to betray him,. so i shall live the day as my last and vanish forever as a true lover.

Happy Stars

"I was born under happy stars, with a keen sense of wonder, which has never left me… and with no exaggerated notion of my own deserts. I have shared the common lot, and have found it good enough for me."

" Unlucky is the man who is born with great expectations, and who finds nothing in life quite up to the mark.

One of the best things a man can bring into the world with him is a natural humility of spirit. About the next best thing he can bring, and they usually go together, is an appreciative spirit — a loving and susceptible heart." - John Burroughs