Gestures and the actor

 As actors, there are a few questions that everyone asks every now and then.. 

What do I do with my hands? 

How much should I move my body? 

What about the head bobbing that many of us do? 

If ever we have read books on Body Language or heard about it,  we know that every gesture usings our body says something.. 

As an actor, the first thing that we may need to do is to start a constant observation process of what we are doing with our hands.. body .. head in different situations.. 

The fact that someone one said as a suggestion to actors Act in life while live when acting. 

This simply means that we are aware of in life what is happening and what we are doing subconsciously. If we feel we are making unnecessary extra gestures which confuse the listener or the observer. We should learn to control it.  So that when we are acting we focus on our character and what needs to be conveyed and not think too much about controlling our gesture. 

Once during a rehearsal, Naseer Sir was talking to an actor about the awareness an actor should have about how much their head is moving.  We use our heads to convey specific things like saying yes, no, or emphasizing something. So if you are bobbing your head like a toy then how do you think you are going to make an impact.. 

So a specific movement is required. MEASURED. This will take a long time but awareness is needed. We practice all we want but when we are performing we can’t be thinking about all of these things. 

The recommendation for actors I believe is if we can we should definitely read a book on body language and if we can’t, then watch videos of body language experts. 

If you keep observing round the clock. You will be aware of where the hand goes and when the movement of the head is required. Like we use our speech to convey the meaning of the text our body needs to be used aptly as well. This may take some work but it will be worthwhile. 

An actor’s job is to convey the text, the script in the best way possible. It can not just be using your voice and face.. Use your body too. 

For that observe yourself as well as others.. What they are saying … what they are conveying.. 

How are we using our body to convey the meaning in life and once we are clear about it in life, we will be able to replicate it on stage or in front of the camera. . 

Most actors do this subconsciously. I just put it here for my better understanding of it as well as if it may interest or give clarity to others. 

PS. Will write a continuation next month after following this

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Prejudice and the Actor

                                                  Prejudice and The Actor                              

I believe every person has struggled with Prejudice in their life, at times they feel prejudiced while other times they are the ones who trigger it.  Yesterday when I took the session on the reason actors should stay away from Prejudice I had to first talk about what it means. I choose to use the dictionary and give the participants,you, various meanings and interpretations of the word as well their synonyms. Here is what i had noted down. 

Prejudice: 1) Preconceived opinion that is not based on reason or actual experience. 

                 2) (law) harm or injury that results or may result from some action or judgement. 

• An unfair and unreasonable opinion  or feeling, especially when formed without enough thought or knowledge. 

In hindi it means पूर्वधारणा (preconceived notion) 

Synonyms: bias, intolerance, discrimination, preference, unfairness, inequality, racism, racialism, sexism, ageism, classism. 

Synonyms in hindi: पक्षपात, हानि, क्षति, चोट, पूर्वाग्रह 

Now that we are clear as to what Prejudice means, we come to how does it matter to a person who is starting to learn the craft of being an actor or is an actor working professionally.  

One thing I talked about in the session was the necessity for an actor to be a neutral human being. As far as it is possible. When you speak don’t give away where you are from.  For that we have to work very hard on our speech, getting the pronunciations right. Speak as it is meant to be in the language and when the time comes  to take an accent you’ll be able to do it easily. 

Next is with our body language. We bring a certain body language from our native places. With regular work with movement experts the body language is going to dissolve. 

It is important to bring our personality from overt  to plain and this can be done only by constant work on our body, speech and mind. As it is said, you have to take off your old clothes to wear new ones. Or it will look weird wearing two set of clothes. 

Now comes the third and final part, which we can start work now. We don’t have to visit any expert. We can just see how we are reacting. How are we listening? In the previous session on listening I had a conversation about how listening plays an important part in acting.  An actor needs to retune every part of his being consciously and listening is one such thing. When we are in a conversation we are doing so many things at the same time, we are trying to understand what they are saying, what it means and what we should reply. 

What actually happens with our default listening is that as we hear the other person say something and we know what  that person means instantly and we start reacting and thinking about the answer. And we are not even listening after a certain point.  We have to stop the reacting process and just observe and let it sink in and then reply. 

Prejudice starts with our eyes. We see the person. Opinion formed about their looks and social standing.

We hear them talk. Opinion formed about their intellect. 

 We need to keep these aside and see them as  a new person which they are in our life. We have not met them, we know nothing about them but in two minutes we have a judgement which we will carry throughout our relationship with that person. 

Is it fair?  I hope no. But this is how we are. “We never give people the chance to show us who they really are”.  Unfortunately, We know who they are. 

This may work for you in life, in your basic struggle of survival but in art, you don’t have to just survive you have to be alive you have to thrive(grow or develop well or vigorously). An actor should be alive every second to see what is happening as it is happening. Without our filters of region, religion, experience and biases we have formed all along. 

I understand what I talk about seems difficult but it takes just a little shift in our attitude and you shall start seeing in others. They start giving you more. You can sense the respect they feel for you. You can start sensing the trust. Just your total understanding can make you feel that you know each other. It’s in your eyes. Your prejudices are in your eyes. And the person in front of you can see it. They will shut down. Shut you out.  Not a good thing for an actor. If they cannot make real connections with other human beings. What are they going to project on the screen? On the stage? Will you play out your judgements? Which no one is interested in. Your job as an artist or actor is to receive and transmit as it is. Be the mirror which reflects you as you are. The mirror doesn’t pass judgements you do.  An actor has to be the mirror which reflects the character as they are, not as his or her prejudices make them understand. 

I understood this fact quite a while ago. It is not that I don’t judge or have prejudices. I am full of them. But I don’t act on them usually. I try to keep them aside. And I feel I have been successful in doing so. I have not judged my characters. I have just listened to them and read my lines. Thought about their journey and just played them without psychoanalysis. I understand I am not the psychiatrist of my characters. I don’t have to tell them what’s wrong with them or how should they improve themselves.  I am a understanding friend who has the opportunity to make their voices heard.  

Even after years of trying not to judge. The judgements are there always. It’s inbuilt. They are not going to go anywhere. It’s what you do with them that matters.  For example the first day I saw you all, I made all my critical judgements, not consciously, subconsciously of course.  My mind evaluated you, placed you in a sequence of talent, looks and manners. My mind told me who all among you were  smart. My mind told me who all among you were respectful. Without even waiting for the first day’s session to get over. My prejudiced mind knew all about you. 

But since I’ve made myself aware that I will not use my prejudice filters. Every Time I looked at you , had a conversation with you I pushed my prejudices behind and looked at you with a fresh eye. I looked at you like the first time I was seeing you. I choose to see what you wanted to show me. What you actually were. My prejudiced mind came up and told me, Hey I have already told who this one is why are you wasting your time understanding? I ignored this voice. I listened to you closely saw what you were showing and I have to tell you the prejudiced voice in my head was mostly wrong. I was pleasantly surprised that you rose through the limitations, my prejudices had set for you. 

This is one simple example. Everyday you meet so many people. Your prejudices don’t let you see them as you should. Try and see them for who they are, not what you think they are. 

Coming back to acting. As actors you have to let go, of general perceptions. For example: If you were mistreated by a bengali in kolkata, You cannot start believing all bengalis are ill mannered.  You have to see every person as an individual being they are. Never generalize. Generalization kills the performance which in turn kills the actor. 

To be a unique special actor, you have to look for uniqueness in the mundane. As it is said, To be interesting, you have to be interested.  

Let’s take this extreme example for instance. If you get to play someone who commits adultery or kill themselves.  Your religious filters tell you these are sins. So you approach the character with disdain.  You never gave the character a chance to speak to you. You will not be able to play the character with empathy. And the audiences will see that.  You cannot judge and also be that character. You have to love your character like a mother loves their son. It has to unconditional love. It has to be the love your labrador has for you. Unquestioning blind faith. You have to be a person whom the character can confide 100% without doubt. You have to treat the character like you treat yourself. When you do something. What you expect is understanding not judgement. Right? So, Here you are trying to become that character. Treat your characters like you treat yourself. 

Remember in your life people who have judged you and the ones who have motivated you. You stick to people who motivate you. They know more about you. They have tried to understand you better. Or maybe they do understand you much more than anyone else. 

They treat you for the individual you are.  Your religion, region, language, looks may not stand in between them and you. 

We have to start treating people individually. If we want to create real alive characters. As no two people can ever be alike. Everyone has had an unique experience. A unique life that only they have lived. How can you then say, 

*People of so and so religion are like this?? 

* Or people of so and so place behave in a certain way?? 

You have to look closely. You will see they don’t.  No two individual behaves in the same way. 

Only then your performances will have the details and minute nuances. When you see your favorite actor’s performance, you notice that they show you something that you had never seen. They give you something unique. Something alive. Because they saw it with fresh eyes. 

So can you. Start seeing with your unique eyes the uniqueness that lies around. 

It’s okay to judge. It’s okay to be biased. It okay to have prejudices. 

But it is not okay to act on them. 

Definitely not okay for an actor. 

Your questions: 

Write your question with your name. 

Worth reading: http://www.management-issues.com/opinion/6917/do-your-filters-stop-you-from-hearing/

Question - I understand that we should not judge people we meet for the first time and that we should not judge the characters we play, but what about those people who have ill treated you in the past?

For example, if I have a friend who has ditched me on a couple of occasions for flimsy reasons several years back, how do I look at him/her with a fresh pair of eyes?

Or am I not supposed to?

-Abhishek

Reply - If you feel you have been wronged, get up, take charge and fight back. Not judging others doesn’t mean if you have been slapped on one cheek you put forward the other. Getting out of the loop of prejudice means you react on the facts in front of you. You say-‘Okay these are the given facts, this is what happened and this is how I choose to react’. I choose to react fairly. Weigh the situation and react that way. It is then you should decide as a person, as a human being what you choose to do about that certain situation. You want to let go or you want to fight or you want to hide or you want to play a game. As Actors, do whatever. Keep reacting to the situation continuously, being aware in the moment. React to it as you would react without any preconceived notion. This habit in life will make you alive and bring you consciously on the edge.

In the moment, you become alive because you are not blindly reacting to life but consciously reacting to life. You are reacting now.

Same person does the same thing. You weigh in the past, you see the present  and you react accordingly, as it should be. It is up to you why you got yourself in the same situation. You made a decision the first time right? You chose to forgive or whatever. Ask yourself, why have you come to the same situation with the same person again.

If you chose to forgive and forget then react to this new scenario in a fresh way.

If you chose to forgive and not forget, what will your reaction be?

If you chose not to forgive and forget, then what will your reaction be?

When you are talking about prejudice in terms of an Actor, we mean seeing that person with fresh eyes and reacting to them for what they really are and not what we assume them to be.

लाइट पंखा

लाइट पंखा

वो तुम्हारा हर बार मुझे याद दिलाना की,
मैंने लाइट पंखा खुला छोड़ दिया है |
शायद तुम्हें लगता हैं की मुझे एहसास हो इस बात का
पर मुझे कोई होश नहीं उस बात का ..

वैसे ही जैसे कप मेरे हाथों से छूट कर मेरे पैरों पे गिर पड़ी एक बार
और मैं भूल गया था की वो मेरे हाथों में है..

नहीं रहती मुझे चीज़ें याद क्यूंकि मैं यहाँ हूँ ही नहीं..

अक्सर , मैं बातें करता हूँ  अपने आप से..

क्या? वो याद नहीं..

अक्सर उन लोगों से बात करता हूँ जिन्हे पढ़ा है किताबों में..

क्यों? वो मालूम नहीं..

एक नौकरी से निकला गया ये कह कर की तुम कवि हो,
हो हमारे किसी काम के नहीं
पर मैंने तो कोई कविता लिखी ही नहीं थी तब तक ..

मुझ जैसे बेसुध लोग दिखे
तो माफ़ कर देना ..

अगर होता होश तो कर ही देते ..
 अगर होता होश तो देख ही लेते ..
पर्यावरण से प्यार हमे भी है..

जान कर कोई गुस्ताखी करता नहीं बार बार..

अगर कर पाता तो उस नौकरी से भी निकला न जाता ..

आज ठाठ से पंखा लाइट के लिए सेंसर लगवा देता..

यह आँखें खोल कर सपना देखने वाले लोग अजीब होते है..

स्कूल में खाता था मार, अब खाता हूँ तुम्हारी डाट..

कर दूँ मैं लाइट पंखा बंद
पर हूँ  यहाँ से बहुत दूर मैं..

कहाँ? इसका मुझे एहसास नहीं..

पर कही न कही हूँ..
असली नकली विचारों के बीच उलझा हुआ हूँ मैं
कही न कही..

पत्नी : तुम गैस पर दूध चढ़ा कर फिर भूल गए ?

- SA

Looking for some answers..

This is not going to be easy. 

I don't know what is ever easy or what is hard. Something that I have never done may seem difficult but after a while you  can somehow get it done and after a little more time you might even become an expert. 

I usually say, I can do anything. 

Well it is not a factual statement just so you know. I can do whatever I want to do or I am interested in. And all this while there is not much I HAVE EVER BEEN INTERESTED IN. 

I was attracted to acting maybe because I had never been able to express myself before that. So it was kind of an outlet. Now I am in love with it. I can express whatever I want and I never keep anything inside. Somehow it clicked in my head that if I let my emotions flow as and when, it is happening to me. I would be able to do a better job, when I need to act. Though it is not quite possible to do this but yes I don't supress what I feel  which could at times come across as impolite or rude but the amount of freedom it has given I can never go back to what I was. Acting in real life is shit. 

And I am absolutely not interested in doing that. So when you see someone abusing me and I just absorb it. In truth it doesnot bug me I see the reaction for what it is. 

If a director loses their shit on set. I accept that they are in crazy pressure. Or in life if someone says something insensitive I ask myself what is behind this. What are they going through? 

(What I mean by these examples is that, I am letting it flow, don't let my calmness fool you that I am supressing my emotions.) 

Mostly, It is insecurity. I am speaking with experience because whenever I get insecure though I may not know at that time. I get edgy or my sense of right is wronged. 

This is the worst kind of edginess that we all carry.  *Our personal Sense of Right* 

I wish we all be fine if our sense of right is challenged. Usually people with frivolous sense of right get offended sooner. 

So go figure yourself. Let other people be right once in a while.  

The only place I allow myself to be edgy is the rehearsal space as politeness is a long route. I prefer to be direct while I work.  And I absolutely love when people who I am working with are direct in their  appraoch. This way you waste less time and the work progresses faster. Most of the professionals I have worked with are fine with this approach. The sugar coated approach is for amateurs.  Actually after a while you start appreciating the honesty as your work improves and you know no one is bullshitting you by saying things you want to hear.  Please please listen to what your seniors or colleagues have to say about your work and don't take it personally. Just keep raising the bar. 

Anyways, this flow of emotions and no suppresion is what I practice in my daily life but for some major emotions there is suppresion and I am working to break those barriers till I can be alive in the moment without boundations of past or future. Sometimes I feel this quest is professional as well as Spiritual. 

Though what annoys me is that I am still nowhere close to being perfect. Sometimes I am terrible. I am still struggling. I guess, acceptance of my limitations might set me free and then I could reach the place we all want to reach.

Nothing is clear. The point is to keep having these questions and the figuring will keep happening. 

There is not going to be an end to figuring. It is going to be a constant process. I am ready to work. 

Bring it on. All the confusions will dissolve and New ones will be born. 

You lose only when your  confusions remain the same for a longer period. 

That could be due to some psychosis. See a therapist or something..

Ask Away. Dive into those questions.  

As I go, one last thing. Stop expecting from others and stop dying for other's expections. 

I can't even tell you how free you are when you just flow. 

Keep it light folks..  And Let it flow. 

Aankh nam aur yeh gham..

Aankh nam aur yeh gham.. 

Aksar dikh jate hai 

Kisi ki aankhon mei

Kisi ki sareer par 

Yeh gham ke saaye 

Akele akele khade kabhi 

Kone mei dubke bhi dekhe hai yeh saaye

Chalte chalte jhuke sirr bhi jataa te hai 

ki  yeh saaye.. 

hai yahi kahi aas pass. 

Aksar socha hai maine 

Pooch lun ki kaun ho tum.. kya hua tumhei,

Par anjano se kaise pooche.. unke dil ki baatein

Toh har baar nazar padne par nazar andaz kiya maine

Yeh jo gham ke tere badal hai.. 

Yeh aate jate hai 

 tum hairan mat ho

 tum pareshan mat ho

Tapke kuch boond toh tapakne do.. 

Barse dard ki fuhare toh barasne do

Badalenge din 

Hoga aasman neela phir ek din  

Adla badli hogi gham ki 

Adla badli hogi muskurahat ki bhi

Jo aaj hai woh kal nahi hoga 

Jo nahi hai woh hoga kabhi 

Ek si nahi rehti tabiyat humari 

Ek si nahi milti aashiqui humei 

Ek si nahi hoti saajish yaha

Ek si nahi hogi kismat tumhari 

Aankh nam aur yeh gham

Dikh jate hai kabhi kabhi 

Mujhe Aaine mei bhi..

- SA

Flying vs Drowning

                                                                  

As I finished the first paragraph of the story and looked at the man in the first row, he yawned not even trying to hide it from me who was telling him a story. And I am sure it was not me that had bored him because my story was quite interesting and I was interested in telling it.  But this should not have been the reason that I felt that I was fighting to breathe because in the previous show a woman in the very seat was about to doze off every now and then and it had not affected me. So how could it be that a yawn distracted me?

Or could it be that just as Nasser sir announced my name, a moment before that I had an urge to clear my throat? And I was not on my mark.. No no no. None of this bullshit. The only fact is that while I was on stage I felt I am not getting through to the audience. Sir had told me earlier about this situation. He said, there are shows when you feel it is not going well. Slow down.  Actors tend to get faster but do the opposite.

I had this diagnosis. And it came to my rescue and I slowed down and went fast and again slowed down. I tried what I could. I believe that.  One more thing that he had told me came to my mind, you should have concern for the audience. I brought in that too.

No matter how bad an actor thinks he is doing, he is doing more or less of what he did in the rehearsals same goes for the feeling of flying. No matter how good I felt about the performance I was more or less where I was during the rehearsals. The point is to trust all the hard work you have done and do what you are meant to.

A beautiful revelation I had, no matter what you are going through a live theatre performance is like life, you have to push through no matter what or you die. The feelings of euphoria or depression should be seen with the same abandonment. An actor should not be concerned with them and just express and make the audience understand what he is trying to tell them. The point is to put the message across. Don’t beat yourself too much that you were perfect or not. Another important thing that I think could be useful is to be fine with losing control. We want to control all the time but we can't have that. I will be conscious about it and if I start being fine with losing control in life I should be fine on stage.  (Note: Be fine with not having control)

I am so glad I had this diverse experience in two back to back shows. I wonder if I do long-running production that is happening daily what will I be discovering and understanding for myself. The point always is to grow and move ahead with every experience.  (I did a one entry last year in a month-long production Motley’s The Truth and I learned that I need not trust the audience for feedback during the show. Every show there are different people in the audience and their reactions would be different)

There are a lot of things that may run through our heads but none of it is valid the only thing valid is what are you there to do?

Shut up and do that.

I checked and cross-checked with a few people which is the worst thing to do.  How do we forget the most cherished lessons in life when the time comes for it to apply. Ages back,  I was in backstage and a younger actor asked his senior What did he think about his performance? The senior actor said, what did you think?

An actor always knows. There is no point in asking and if anyone has any input they will give it.

So this ends with Do we really learn?

I guess I can’t end it on that.  We learn. Sometimes we may need a couple of same experiences for the message to sink in.

Now I am ready to fly and to drown. Accepting that they are both experiences which need to be felt and not resisted.

If you resist you die. If you accept you survive.

And, I survived to cut the story short.

PS. For all the feelings that we feel and whatever it means. The sound guy told me on his own that my second show was Excellent. The one which I felt I was drowning and the first show he felt was good which I felt was Excellent. So there you go. Have some coffee and Chill.

PS. 8/05/20 10th November show. I figured why I felt off in the 2nd show. When Sir was introducing me. I felt like coughing. I felt I had a few extra seconds but as I moved away from my mark he said my name. And I rushed in. So I carried on that rushed in energy and didn't feel at ease.. The answer was out there but I was not ready to accept it could be so simple.  Note to self. Don't move from your mark no matter what. :) 

Reading like a Job

Lately, I have found myself not able to read much. I am looking at more than 100 unread or half-read books in front of me. It is kind of bugging me. What I am or why people like to associate with me is because of my reading I feel. It is through reading plays, novels, philosophy etc. that I grew as a person. The poems or stories I could write was because of the reading. My behavior in the present moment is that of an athlete who after learning the basics has stopped practicing and just wants to play. The laziness has seeped in. It is scaring me, if this keeps going on I will lose whatever intelligence I have acquired. Yesterday, I was at a station and there were some amazing books at half price. I controlled myself. I put out a condition. Not another book enters the house before I have read at least 10 from the pile collecting dust in my flat.

As a kid, I loved reading stories. I absolutely loved it. It was more real to me than the films. Why I wanted to join films and not become a literary writer is something I have no answer for. One reason could have been that I felt it to be a too far fetched dream. Same goes for acting too but I tried anyway.  I have always felt writers are like magicians, the world they create stays embedded in our minds for decades or sometimes our entire life.

I will try and remember novels and their writer's names that have stayed with me, that I read in my teens or childhood.

1. Nirmala- Munshi Premchand: This book has left a big mark on me. I think I read it before I should have. I cried so much and the journey of Nirmala stays with me.

2. Around the world in 80 days - Jules Verne: This book was so fascinating. I have read it a few times after that in my twenties too. Today it is possible to travel the world in less than 8 days but those 80 days stay in my head as clear as a crystal.

3. Alice in the wonderland- Lewis Caroll : I don't remember anything about the book just that I loved reading it again and again and felt a kinship with Alice. I wanted to be Alice so bad. I guess I am still trying to be her. This is why a theatre group I started with a friend was called Mad Hatter.

4. Swami Vivekananda (Biography): My brother Niraj had gotten me this book. It was published by the trust. It was kind of a compilation of Vivekananda's writing about himself and his disciples had added things to make it a comprehensible story about his life. I absolutely adored that book. I brought it with me to Mumbai too. I lost it when I gave it to someone who never returned it.

5. Panchtantra : A collection of short stories with a lesson at the end of each story. I have read that book so many times. I brought this book along too and gave it to a friend I did plays with. He lost it and then told me, he had returned it. Liar.

Among other books that stayed are  English August, Merchant of Venice, Siddhartha- Herman Hesse, Buddha (biography - how the prince figures out the truth of the world is my favorite part), etc.

Just going back and thinking about the books I have read reminded me of the importance of reading.  It shows how books become part of your personality.

Though for the past month I have stopped watching anything after I come back home in the evening. But then something else has taken its place, talking to friends.

One incident I remember after my college completed.. I would stay alone in my flat a lot. I had quit doing theatre with people I worked with. Wanted something else in my life.. Maybe I wanted to try out films or so. But I didn't go out and meet people.  Most of the jobs I have done has come to me on it's own. I can count on my fingers the steps I have taken and the moments I stepped out and asked for work. Those are the moments that changed my life in true sense.

One quote I read somewhere that relates to this statement: If you don't make your own plans you will work for other people's plans. And Guess what they have for you in their plan.. Very little.

Stepping up is important. I am learning to do that.  Go out and take what you want. It's lying there. But you need to walk up to that thing.

So post my college. I was doing nothing. No job. No money. Nothing. As usual, I did have a lot of books at my place because I may not be a compulsive reader but I am a compulsive buyer of books. So sitting at home I felt reality guilty of doing nothing to move forward in life.  I decided one thing to be guilt-free. Because since I didn't do anything I didn't enjoy going out with friends either because of the guilt. I decided that I will read like it is my job to read. So for 3 months, I guess, a little here and there. I read for 6 hours every day and then I got some project I guess. I would read 6 hours minimum during that time and then it kind of became a habit for a few years. So what happened because of the reading was that slowly my family and friends started considering me smart.

Because they started doing that I also started believing so.

One very interesting thing happened. I went for reading of a play. I had never read before in front of so many people and also people knew I was okay not good.. But that day, when I read a few characters, everyone was blown away. They asked me if I had joined some other theatre group or did some acting workshop. Because I was hitting the mark like every time.

I thought about how the magic had happened. During my period of reading, whenever I read a play, I would try and read it out loud as much as I could. I believe over the period of many many plays. I started understanding what was expected more and more.

But I must confess today, that I have lost a lot of that charm and It can only come back through a lot of reading. Consciously, I will work to bring it back to my life and daily routine.

I shall start reading like a job, Once Again.

PS. This is an Ode to a friend who never leaves. Our Books.