It's been a while. I scribbled something. So many things happening. Some useful some useless. I find it fun to figure myself out, what's going on with me. And my way is to write that down and share it publicly. What a Dumb concept. Who cares for anyone else's blabbers. It could bore them or entertain. But my only agenda would be figuring out What's happening?
So what is happening Mr. Anand. Well, nothing much. I seem to be fine. Doing a few plays. Found a lovely group of people who have love for their craft and are interested in acting as profession and don't just say it for the sake of saying. So I feel comforted. After some hits and misses. I have found my kind of people. It is really fun working with people who love their work as you do.
What I am interested in ? I have always said this, trying to understand acting in the simplest terms and that when I perform I connect with the audience. these are my small goals. Rest of the things can figure themselves out. I am interested in figuring out these.
So now, what my process is makes me terrible in the initial to mid of preparations. because I am awaiting for the character to take over slowly during the rehearsals. I scare people around me with my helpless struggle out in the open. But that is my way, i have to be miserable out in the open. So I accept myself. i don't have the pressure to impress. All my aim is and shall always be is to express what the pages say. I don't have any more agenda nor do I care as an actor. If you love me in the confines of the page well and good. If not, i am not what you like i guess. I have played to the gallery so much that it is embarrassing when I look back as to what I did. I know I will have to do all that. that is another form of art and films and plays are made just for that purpose. Though I could be amazing doing that. but I don't find myself too interested in gaining that kind of popularity. I crave no such thing. What I crave is connection and understanding of the character.
I came back to doing theatre in November. Started back in acting when I was accidentally called to instruct in a acting workshop in May. I was free and agreed, I have loved working with the kids teaching them and stuff, they have no expectations from learning acting. but i don't quite enjoy working with adults. They bore me with their rigid ideas and beliefs. i want to work with people who believe that each and everything they believe in could be shit. Then you are talking. then you can move ahead. This is why when I share any of my idea, i always add that what i am about to say could make sense to you or it could be shit to you. If it moves you use it, if not drop it. I don't really care.
I have read so many books, thought of so many paths to reach the character but realized Every character requires different approach like with understanding humans you can't measure everyone with the same yardstick. All it boils down to is knowing your character like you know yourself. Now use whatever way to reach there.
I have seen actors resisting giving history and dreams to their character. What difference does it make they feel I assume. I have tried acting when I am blank about the past or the future. And when I know a lot. Knowing a lot creates some magic. if you know something It stays in your head.
We got to ask questions.. why he is like this or why he is crazy, or why he is fidgety etc.
To those who still think these questions and history unimportant. Try living a day without your memories. And then we will talk.
You won't even be able to take one step. Clueless is the word. You won't know what to do after you get up. where you are going and why?????
Now that, I am acting all the time. With three rehearsals in the day. I guess I can call myself a Professional Actor. But not a super one. I find myself being lazy. When I was doing one role all I had to do was think about one character but now with so many roles I find myself confused about what to work on and I end up working on nothing.
I will figure out a way. I love doing this. Maybe I can get back to Meditating and some exercise.
One quote that is written on my desk. Something I scribbled n shared too makes me think about getting my act right and aligning my attitude in the right way. " I always knew what I wanted but you don't get what you want but you get what you think what you deserve".
I deserve the fun I am having with all these plays and roles. .
