28 May, 2009

Namaste!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Namaste!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is almost 20 days that i wrote about generally about my life, there was nothing to write. Or even if there was something, it was not worth sharing. It can't be that my life was Zero something has to happen. This post is going to be a bit long apologies. You can use your eagle eyes to scan it through as i know reading a long blog is a little difficult. So, i give you all the right to scan it but do read what you find worth.

Started with a namaste. We are not using this word these days and it's substitutes have taken place. When i was a kid my family wanted to say namaste to guests coming home. I used to feel shy and awkward maybe there was a feeling that they will think i am not a smart boy. I wanted to just pass their way run around showing my antics but not acknowledge their presence. Once, i said namaste to a aunty, her reaction was like "ok so this brat is getting to know what manner is". She didn't say anything or smiled, her reaction was like "HUH". I was like ok so if these people want it to be like this .So be it. I was wrong, now i realize i should not have judged the whole world based on person. Now, even when i call my father want to say a "namaste". I can't because i never cultivated that habit. So now even i know it is a good thing to do, and best way to start the conversation. I feel awkward. Awkward doing the right thing ?????????

Yes when you have the habit of doing things wrong. Doing the right way is awkward. Lets see I have started it now. Will do it when i call dad again. Best of Luck!!!!! Hope that dad will assume that i am saying "namaste" because i want to sound mannered and not that i have called to ask for money and trying to be too good and mannered. Too much from his son.


My big sister was the in charge of my behaving properly when i was a kid. I hated her. She was too strict. She is 7-8 years elder to me. So, she had the right too. I always questioned her authority. I was wrong. Once she was slapping me for a mischief that i had done. I blocked her hand. I was wrong. She never tried again. She let me be free after that. I regret that. She is the best sister i could have got. When she was married, i cried a lot. I was losing my sister.

I want share a incident but am unable to figure which one should i share with you guys.......

After at least 30 minutes of thinking and doing other things i have a incident.....

It was in i believe 5th standard. It was my birthday. Like every kid i was excited. Waiting for my gift and most eagerly to have a party in the evening. My sis was the event manager. She did all the preparations. I had school that day. I didn't want to go. I believe on your birthday you should not work but just chill out relax and enjoy but i was forced to go. Promised that everything will be taken care of. When we are small, we have the tendency to boast what we have. Donno where this comes from when we are small and knowledge less.

I came back and started inspecting the preparations. Hall well impressive. nice ballons and other decorative s. Kitchen okay, so, there is a lot which will surely impress my friends that i am well off. Now, the main main main.... thing ..........THE CAKE............... what the hell... sis had made the cake herself. it was not done. i told my family they have to call off this party. I am not going to cut the cake if it is not bought from the famous cake shop of Hazaribag, where i lived at that time. I was told they had tried , as they had missed ordering for it yesterday.... It couldnot be delivered today. I was creating a huge tamasha. I was crying and shouting and telling my sister why you had to show your talent on my birthday, you should do it on yours..... All this because the cake did not look as fancy like from the cake shop.

I was not convinced but i had to agree, friends had been invited. It was a good party. every kid had the cake twice. It was the most desirable thing on my birthday.......... reluctantly i had at last. It was nice. It was outstanding.

All this while, i didnot think of was what my sister was feeling. How she must have felt that after so much hard work and with so much love. She had for me, she did something for me i didnot acknowledge. I realize it today i was wrong. I didnot understand the love. I was wrong. I want to take this opportunity to say " Didi i am sorry, i know that you love me, and whatever you did from me was out of love, it was not necessary for you to do it but you did".

THANKS
I LOVE YOU
Hope she comes here and reads it and says she never felt bad, but i know she did.
Can i change what i did ....NO......but one thing i can do that is acknowledge what was done for me and remember that. and be good.

Sonu Anand.

PS. Blogging banned in China altogether. What a shame! my friend posted this on his blog i am sharing it with you guys:

China Imposes Blanket Ban on all Blogger Blogs

||-- May 27th, 2009 --- General --||

There are some 275 million blogs hosted on Blogger.com and all them have possibly been blocked in China.

china blocks blogger

This “crackdown” could have some relation to June 4, 2009, the day when the world will mark the 20th anniversary of the Tiananmen Square incident or it may even be a service disruption because Google is saying that they are “working to restore access to Blogger in China.”

In either case, users have been unable to access Blogger inside China since May 17th.

chinese bloggers on twitter

Blogging on Blogger from China

If you are inside Mainland China and need to publish new entries on your blogger blog, you can use the “post by email” option of Blogger or something like Posterous - email your articles to blogger@posterous.com and they will auto-post the message to your blog. Online blog editors (like the one in Facebook) can also help you write entries in blogger from anywhere.

source: netsujit.com

25 May, 2009

My love, my reason, my passion, my prayer, You mean everything to me…….

Dear Sophiya,


My love, my reason, my passion, my prayer, You mean everything to me…….


Please don’t go… I have known you since I have known myself. I have loved you since I have known love. It can’t be just a coincidence that we were neighbors’ since our childhood. Our families moved in together in the locality of hariganj, Dehradun. The first time I saw you in a yellow dress, how much I used to tease you for that. It is not that you were the first girl and the one whom I knew more than any other girl. I don’t believe it was just a coincidence or chance or circumstance that led us to love each other more than anything else. I just can’t.


We are more special than these silly justifications. Sometimes I used to think I am the luckiest man on earth. I have known my love, my partner, my soul mate since the age of 5. How many of us are that lucky? Do you remember when you were ill and I also didn’t go to school. How my family came to know…. And stopped me from coming to your house………. I wonder what I will do when you are not there.. what what …..what …what… why are you Sops tell me whay why????? Why are you leaving?? I am wiping my tears……can you feel that … oh yes how can you??? How could sops how could you HOW????


Remember what you said when we discovered our love as to love as man woman….. when we decided we are going to marry. It was not that tough for us to find this out. We were so much in our own worlds that we just knew…. You said you loved me and you could only love me for your entire life . So what happens now why are you leaving….. I don’t know what to do what to write….. It is as if my life is blowing apart after you go my life will just be blank……. I will be a big Zero nothing just nothing. You know I am very angry… no… no.. I am angry at myself . I can’t even think of that. Why did I love you so much??? I wonder why is it like we don’t have control over our life.???


I hope you didn’t miss being with others…. I don’t …… You said to me “ you will find someone”. No I will not…. I cannot… maybe after you have gone for a long time I will try……… and you know what….. I will not find anyone.. no one else can understand me as you have, even you know that, you even understand my breathe ” Who can go for these micro details only a crack like you, only a sweetheart like you, only a lovely person like you….. even I will not be able to adjust J I am tuned to your vibrations like a radio responds to signals… you know I can’t , I have lost my ability to adjust with others, living in the comfort zone with……


I believe I have pleaded much……. You made me promise that I will not follow you to your destination. I have promised but ….. ok I will remember the promise but I have a request my love……………


I am just 23, I have whole life to live, how will I survive without you. If I fail, if I am unable to live happily, if I can’t find anyone else.

Can I come to you…… can I follow the path that you were forced to take

pleaseeeeeeeeee you never say no to me.


I promise you, I will try………………………


only yours


Sonu Anand.



PS. Fiction

23 May, 2009

Ok God ! lets talk

Ok God! lets talk

I know where you are
I know where i can find you
I know temple is not the only place
I know you are still inside me...

Ok God! lets talk

Dad said you are everywhere
Dad said you live in every human
Dad said you remain till the person is not corrupt
Dad said you are inside me, when i was a kid

Ok God! lets talk

he stopped saying when i grew up
he stopped when he noticed i am growing
he stopped when he saw me doing things i should not have done
he stopped when i started arguing with him

Ok God! lets talk

but i know you are still inside
but i know you forgave me
but i know you don't differentiate
but i know you love me

Ok God! lets talk

don't leave i am afraid
don't leave i feel i can go the wrong way
don't leave i need your guidance
don't leave i can't survive without your grace

Ok God! lets talk

i miss you when i back talk someone
i miss you when i am lazy
i miss you when i cheat
i miss you when i lie

Ok God! lets talk

Do you leave me when i am doing something i don't want you to know
Do you leave me when i curse or fight with my friend
Do you leave me when i miss use the resources you have given me
Do you leave me when i think bad thoughts

Ok God! lets talk

how do you feel when we use your name and kill each other
how do you feel when we sell your name
how do you feel when we take money in your name
how do you feel when we insult others who don't follow our faith

Ok God! lets talk

Do you get angry
Do you feel you should stop us
Do you feel we are crossing our limit
Do you feel you have had enough

Ok God! lets talk

i don't know about others but i promise
i don't know about others but i will try
i don't know about others but i will remain honest
i don't know about others but i can't survive without you

Ok God! lets talk

Sonu Anand

21 May, 2009

Why can't we be equal ??????????????


Why can't we be equal ???

You have more money...
You have more power...

You have all the stars...

Why can't we keep all these aside...


Why can't we be equal ???


You have to be small...
I have to be big...

I have to insult you...

you have to realize...


Why can't we be equal ???


You are at the top...
I am at the bottom...
You see the negativity...

I have to realize...

Why is it like it is...

Why can't we be equal ???

We are humans...
We are alike...

We are god send souls...

Not to be weighed...
Why don't you realize...


Why can't we be equal ????????????????


Sonu Anand

19 May, 2009

happiness

i am happy, things are going fine. whatever i was doing has gone well.

i am feeling full, don't feel like writing about it.

i don't feel like sharing, maybe i want to keep the positivity inside me.

i discuss about the wronging s as it helps me feel relieved.

maybe i am being selfish but this is how it is.

i really don't feel like talking.

Sonu anand

16 May, 2009

i am the best.....

Read as fast as you can preferably in one breath


i am the best....

why i am the best..

because i am someone's lookalike.....

noooooooooooooooooooooooooo

i am sonu.....

i work hard .........

i sleep hard...........

i am weird.........

i respect myself..............

i ignore........

Who?????????????????????????

me...........................................

Why????????????????????

donno!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am the best................

because i love you...............

i don't love myself.............

no i don't...............

means i love myself and only me................

i am selfish....................

No..............................................

i have a dream..........

i will fulfill that

what my dream????????????????

what is my dream????????????????

Good question???????????????

Why is the world so fake?????????????

Indeed a good question and will remain so.........

till the world remains................

truth is so no true...............

there is no truth.............

there is only lies...........

I am the best..............

oh my god????????????????/

sometimes the mind can be so confusing..................................

i can't i can't.................................

What???????????????????

donno????????????

maybe fight........maybe lie...........maybe fake ......... maybe be true...........

maybe do what you say.... maybe ......oh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

can't

What???????????????

can't

What?????????????????

Stop??????????????

Why????????????

I will faint???????????????

Why????????????????

you make me crazy...........

Can't...............

What??????????? WHY?????????????

You already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No.........................i am not ...................I am being me .................

don't..............................

Why?????????????????????????

I want you to be as i want you to be >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Don't want your honesty<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

WHAT??????????????????

Hooooooo HOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Crtazy?????????????

YEss




Stop




Please let me live.............



NPOooooo ssOCsdfghj oooooooooooooooo pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

oh my god????????????????????????????????????????

let me die......................................let me die

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

you need to die alive .....you need to die every minute everyday......every now


NOW>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I am the best????????????????????????

nOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YES::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Don't question my belief

anyways

i am dying nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Sonu Anand

PS. contains confusion of my mind........... No logic please

15 May, 2009

What happens to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



It is only by doing good to others that one attains to one's own good.

-Swami Vivekanand

So my last post was something related to this, now i have the answer. helping others is also something that is personal to us, something that helps us grow..........

By doing so we are only helping ourselves......




What happens to me!

My heart is heavy...

and i am feeling dizzy.....

It has been like this always...

since i started acting....

when i am nearing the show time...

What happens to me!


I see the stage...

i become heavy...

i have rehearsed...

i am ready...

but why do i worry...

What happens to me!

this is what i wanted ...

this is what i have only known....

this is the thing i want do....

this is what fuels my days and night...

this is my passion....

then

What happens to me!


Sonu Anand

09 May, 2009

why do i lie???????????????????????/ iam not somebodies duplicate

why do i lie..........................................
why can't i be true always........
what is wrong with me that i have to know.......
what is that i need to learn
what is the truth
why do i lie...................................................................

People compare me with some one else...............

Person 1. ooo sonu your hair looks like ..................

person 2. ooooo sonu you talk like him........

person 3. oooooo sonu you are really looking like ........... from this film....... of that actor.............

kid 1. oooo sir you look like that tv. actor....... did you intentionally cut your hair like that.........

Brother . ooi sonu why can't you be like me.........why are you sooooo................

dad. sonu .........i had so many expectations from you .................now look at mr.sharma's son he was dumber than you but now look where he is........

mom. sonu......... you keep looking in the mirror if you had been like .............................. you would have tried your hand at acting..............

and so on and on..............................................................................................

Why??????????????????????????

why compare someone with the other and make them both small.

i hate being compared. i am an individual. there is no one like me. i am nobodies image. i am my image .

I am a individual.

why do you compare me with someone else and make me feel small.............

why i resemble someone else. why could not i be just me.

but people are here just to compare. to compare you with someone who is on a different plane than you. to someone who is different than you. how can you compare.

why should i face that torture because of you. do you want me close my ears when i see you again. if not better treat me as me. no preconceived notions, no putting your agenda on me, no using me as your first tool for changing the world, i am not your laboratory, please let me live peacefully.............

i am me..........not someone else whose picture you have in your mind.

i won't change for you ..........

i won't change for anyone........

Don't irritate me........... you look like a looser when you try to correct me before correcting yourself.

Why and how can you expect me to live life according to you?????????????????????

How dare you????????????????????

Are you in your senses ????????????????????

i have only got around 70 years to live which is an average these days.............and you expect to live according to you, to live for you................

i will live life for myself...................i won't do that for you............................i have a lot to complete before i can start on the change list for me you had given...................... i have a lot of work to do.............. i will only help those who are around me or whom i can reach..............without getting up hungry..............

i won't leave my food to help you............. i can't starve i have a lot to do a lot to achieve.........i need energy ..................there is no guarantee that if i help you, you will help me back.........but if an am full i won't care

i can only help you after lunch........ i am serious.............. i will take my heart out for you...........

the only condition is my stomach should be full.

I know you won't like me and my words because you want my unconditional help and love..............

But i will have to say sorry as i don't work or do whatever be it love or help when i am hungry..........................


I am really sorry to disappoint you but this is how it is..............

this is who i am........... i am me nothing else......................

so let me be me don't try to change me.............

thanks

Yours truly, lovingly, faithfully (after having food)

Sonu Anand

(p.s. the dialogues about comparing are not real they are based on my and others experiences)

08 May, 2009

I want to write


i want to write.


something that defines me

something that allows you to know me

something that will make you understand me as i want you to

something that reveals my real self

I want to write

because i am not scared

because i am not a hippocrate

because i am a believer

because i don't have to face you-eye to eye

because it will allow me to be true about you

because i am not bothered about pleasing you

because i can be true about myself

I want to write

not to impose my thoughts on you

not to make you feel small

not to make me feel good

not to criticize you

I want to write

to feel equal

Equal with you

Equal to someone who thinks i am low grade

Equal to someone who thinks i know nothing

Equal to someone who things i am no better than a slave

Equal to someone who pulls me down everytime i try to get up

I want to write

to love someone who helps me to believe in me

to love someone who loves me

to love someone who considers every human as human

I want to write

as i want to write

there are no agendas,

there are no proving points

there is nothing

I just want to express myself

I just want to write.

Sonu Anand

03 May, 2009

oooooooooooo IPL ooooooooooo IPL ooooooooo BCCI

Oh my god !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What is happening to us ……………..we are leaving our work and watching cricket …

BCCI is ruining this country as they want to make money....because the passion the indians have for cricket is more than anything else even their work............. and they are using this........

wow........


I think the government should legalise betting on cricket in this country........................
aaaaatleast the cricket buffs will make money from somewhere in the IPL month...as most of them are going to lose jobs.....if they continue with their strange and foolish passion for cricket.......... anyways in the time of recession companies want to lay off employees....they will get a reason..........

Yes this IPL is interesting ……………where can you find all the best players on the same platform……..These 20-20 matches usually end on a interesting and breathtaking note…………………………

But but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but but


How ca

Dam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am at my friend’s house and I was preparing a black coffee for myself and ………………..

You want to know what happened ……………….. I left it on the gas for over an hour………………my goodness how these things happen…….and that to in a place where you have no say…………

He is a dear friend but he is particular about things…..people should be like this…….

Ya it is fine with me…..if I had done it in my own flat……meaning mine not my parents…….

I would have thrown the coffee pan and forgot about it but can’t do it here or at my parents house……..

I am responsible for my actions…… I think this is the reason that we all want to get independent in our life’s…….so that we don’t have to be answerable for our mistakes………..TO ANYONE………

WE LIKE TO BE OUR OWN MASTERS

Yes, because we will keep on doing them…….no one can be free from mistakes……but being answerable for them is a bit too much……

But even being independent won’t help because you will go to your friends house…you will go back to your family…….and in that territory you will have any say………hmmm….

TRUE

Now, as it has to be…..now I will wait for my friend to come and tell him what has happened………………will surely be annoyed but won’t say anything………. This is how things are ……………….. in this civilized society you don’t have the right to express your anger….amazing

It is termed bad or wrong even if you say or ask questions to the person……….who has done wrong if you are his friend………to your girl-friend- the equation changes when you marry the person……..and many such relations……………

Things can be said to the person in your family…where relation equation cannot be changed……..there you will be forgiven by the person who has done the wrong deed for saying something or questioning about the fault that he has done……………with time…….you stay away for a while and then you meet for a family function….there you talk and forgive him……

Also you can point fault at a person if you own that person not like slave but if he works under you and you pay him……

hey here you can shout at the person without fault and you know what the answer will be ………………..

YES SIR or YES MAM………..

No better than slaves……………….

But most people enjoy this ego ride……………Do YOU……

Haaaaa haaaaaa………….yes……..no…………I hope you donot because if you do……..you are a cruel person……….breaking a person…….mentally……breaking his self esteem…… ok ok…..

I have been in the upper situation few times shouted at people sometimes but with reason…..but even that I don’t like I think the best practice has to be requesting another person to perform even if then that person fails, change him but shouting and insulting is no good.

But what happens to our mind that it forgets…….so easily…….don’t know…………

I also don’t know who knows………..

But I feel until you have a very very high motive or desire to do a thing don’t do…………. Or don’t do things for yourself alone……if someone else is involved he will keep bugging you and you will not forget………

But it is really sad to be forgetful maybe good if you forget peoples mistakes

Haah what bore thoughts I am getting…… I am a bit off………………I am doing something else tooooooooooo………

Don’t stop reading bear for a while………

Now back to IPL…….
This IPL will result in a major bigger than the on going oneeconomic slowdown for this country…..in offices and everywhere people are watching or keeping themselves updated …………..in my friend’s office the IPL site has been banned………must have been a major issue…….

Yesterday, I called another friend he is a journalist. I needed his help for a report I needed to file…..but he was not interested in my problem…….he said he can help only tomorrow….i said I need your help dude…..please do something……..he seemed un interested……… he kept saying let’s talk tomorrow…….just then he said………… “Shit he is out………………”

Ok so you are watching IPL…..bye bye…..will not disturb you bye……

He used to ……….He is a sincere journalist serious about his work but what this IPL has that makes people lose their mind and stop working and just…watch IPL…..

God knows……..

I am not much of a cricket freak………so, I may not be knowing the answer……….

Well Well ……………..KKR lost again….now they have lost 7 matches and are at the end of the table……sad I supported them because of Shahrukh……..

But cricket is cricket you have to support it because of players………So, I have shifted my loyalty to Delhi Dare Devils because of Sehwag………..

Rightnow, Bangalore in good position against Mumbai………
They have made Anil Kumble captain…….nice…….he deserves it….

I have been watching IPL while I was writing this………..

Haaaaaaaaa Haaaaaaaaaa Haaaaaaaa………………

Sonu Anand

01 May, 2009

hiding behind your own face


well welll....................it is 6:30 am and what i am doing................not slept tonight. Felt this urge to write had to sleep but i wrote because if didnot answer to this i would have been unable to sleep peacefully. I had been writing the crap that i discussed the other day........some telefilm written by a writer re written by me............... well that thing is almost complete...... few pages left thought will complete and then go to sleep but body is not ready..........but mind is, will be giving the body what it owes .............

it was 5:45 when i was done with writing thought it is morning anyway so lets go for a walk.......

took my bike went to the beach......... was walking there don't know what happened i discovered something.............. no guesses all will be wrong...............i started singing there...........then i realised i can try singing as a proffession .............i am not bad a singer by the smiles of the people i guessed so........(they may be sympathesising....maybe .......... poor boy gone crazy.....)

while they were looking at me and smiling ............

i thought do they realize that i am not on a morning walk........ i am on a walk that they had after their dinner before their sleep ..................can they see inside me..............or nobody bothers............. yes this has to be the case .................everybody lives in a world inside themselves and they come out only when they are in need or need to communicate out of boredom...............you must have realized everybody is most happy when they are with themselves................. this may be the case of the saints who go to the jungles and mountains and the silence must be giving them happinesssssssssssssssssss.

can't be done here in my case.............i have different ambitions different from their ambitions.......... not an ambition to prove anything to anyone or even to myself........... i just want to live a life..........

but who can just life a life without proving anything to anyone..............life is all about proving something or the other thing to someone, someone can be to you, your boss- i will prove him my worth, your son- i will prove him my way is the way..........and so on and on and on.................................

Well singing singing ...................i gave up on the idea of pursuing singing as a proffesion.........
because................
1. i have realized something about myself..... i don't try anything without going through a proper channel or so you can say training.............

2. if i be a success as a singer then other avenues will have limited scope for me......i will be primarily known as a singer...........which doesnot feature any where in my ambition list of PROVING. my worth.............

so...........it was dropped.....................


While i was returning i decided to have breakfast and sleep as i was feeling a bit hungry..........so bought something(won't tell you what)..............after that stopped by a tea shop for tea and biscuits............

well as i was having my tea and Parle G bisc..............a dog came running and started barking..........at a man in rags sleeping by the pavement as if that man was sleeping on his place........the man woke up...........looked for something like you do when you wake up like the glasses....................he found a stone.............started rolling it like a ball as bowlers do...............

the dog went away...........it looked all well rehearsed like they have been doing it for quite a few time...........then i caught a look of the rag man who sleeps on the pavement......................................................................................................................................


he was maybe 5'10 good physique better than mine............ clothes looked like a suit..........maybe a century ago..........long uncut hair........so was the beard........... he had a bandage on his left arm......very deep cut i guess........i wondered what it might have been ..............was it that the dog had bitten him when they had started the rehearsal............when you start something new things do go wrong............. can't say what must have happened but i really wondered how he must be fighting with the pain...........,

Who did the bandage for him..........?
Does he apply any ointment like we do when we get a simple cut............

donno........................

just then as i was watching him a lady passed him she was wearing a reebok shoe and a saree............... i thought if this lady gives him.........the amount she spend on the shoes ............this guy might live off for a few months.................but that lady didnot notice him ..................


but i was noticing him why can't i sell of my shoe and give him money.............. that may allow him to live off for atleast 15 days..............................................

but i thought otherwise......... i thought he must be a drug addict that's why he came from suit to rags.............

was he really a drug addict.....................

donno

but i needed a excuese to justify myself.......................to PROVE myself right to myself.............. so that i can sleep properly...............

isin't the same thing we all do make up excueses to justify ourselves........................

Donno..............

yesterday was election in our town......................

did he vote...................

donno

will the new representative do anything for him

donnoooooooooo i know the answer

NO

as i was cooking these things looking at him............ drinking my tea having my biscuit .....................

he, the ragman caught me redhanded looking at him and looking at him........................ what i was doing i was just looking at him....................why should i feel guilty for his state .................he is there because he is there.......................... what i have got to do with that..........................

I was about to eat my biscuit as he had looked at me.....................

there were no expression in his eyes ................he didnot hate me..............he didnot love...................he said nothing ..............he was not angry..................he didnot feel digusted that i was looking at him.............he had no problem me having biscuit and tea in front of him...................even if he had he should talk to the owner of the shop who had placed a tea shop in front of his pavement ............................................i was teasing......................him in anyway.........no...............

i was just having tea.................it is not my problem if a homeless rag man resides opposite the tea shop................... i am truly saying this............even if it is not right eating in front of a hungry homeless rag man............where i am at fault................ what should i do.................


You know what i did when he looked at me......................................

i could have done just this i looked away......................

I couldnot face him but i fail to understand why am i feeling guilty or bad.................

WHERE AM I AT FAULT?????????????????????????????????????


Sonu Anand

33 Dream Cafe

 I am Supposed to be writing a script for a feature film right now.. But why am I writing this... Whatever this is. I couldn't write at ...