It was the year 2011. He called her to his house. They had recently met in a drawing class. He was the teacher. She was fascinated by him, his charms. Obviously, he was good looking. He was a student in JJ School of Arts. They said he was going to be the next big thing. She was star struck it seemed but she was only fascinated, she had a crush, she was not in love. She was only 18 what did she know about love. Absolutely nothing.
At night usually when she thought of love all the references were usually from films or books. Love happens once and when it happens you stick to it. You commit yourself to it and make it work. Her parents fought all the time. They were in love once, and this is what love was? It confused the little girl once in a while. Anyway, who has ever been able to define love in the best way? It is different for different people. For some it is definite for others it is flexible. For some love happens once, for some it happens when it happens and it happens all the time.
While some believe love is a way for nature to fool you into sexual intercourse so that humanity stays afloat. Why would otherwise love evaporate? The crazy pull you had for each other vanishes one day. why? When you know everything about each other the magic is gone. People ask why? How then is love forever? Some say love for whatever it be, The end goal is a commitment, you said you love so and so and if they stay sane you try and make it work. If they go crazy you run.
In her little head, love was forever. He was upset about this girl who had ditched him for another painter. He kept talking about how he had been short-changed. He had been cheated.. He kept blabbering, pouring his heart out.. She was sad for him not understanding half of what he said.
She got emotional.. She had tears in her eyes. She moved closer to him and tried to console him by whatever she could think of. What could she think of? He was at least a decade older than her. What could she say that would make sense to him. Nothing. She patted his hand and told him not to worry it will be all right. She smiled at him.. He looked at her with sad eyes and kissed her.
She froze not knowing what to do. She couldn't respond. She had never been intimate with anyone and this was their third meeting. They had exchanged general texts about life but they were not so close, it was not love. What the hell was he doing? He kept going and she let it go, lying there scared and helpless.
She was confused about what had happened. He told her it was love. They had made love and that they loved each other. She thought maybe this is love. and after a couple of weeks, relationship status on her facebook changed from single to in a relationship.
She talked to herself once in a while.. He was actually hot and she had a crush on him. So many had crushes on him. She was lucky to have him in her life. They started meeting on a regular basis. Her Instagram feed was full of their cute pictures.
How beautiful life was. One day she was coming back from college, she was talking to this dude who was her neighbor. He saw her talking to him and smiling. He was jealous but he didn't stop. He went home. She came as usual in the evening at his house. She was so happy to see him she ran to him and hugged him. He pushed her away. She fell on the floor. His first question was, Whore, who was he?
The first time he hit her was when he had drunk too much it was not him it was the drink she thought and I should not have argued with him. But slowly he was drinking every day and arguments became a way of life.
Almost 8 years after they had first met in spite of heavy opposition from her parents. She decided to marry him. But he ditched her after the engagement. It happened like this, he started asking if she was happy with him and when she said yes.. He said you are lying. One thing led to another, they were fighting on the road. All this happened after he was drunk. She told him we will talk tomorrow. she said you are drunk, you don't know what you are talking about. He decided to leave her. He told one of his friends, the whore should have listened.
He decided to leave her after two hospitals trips and one rape I guess.
She was sad and hurt she missed him. This was not what it should have been. It was love and love happens once. She tried hard to reach out to him, saying sorry many times but he would not respond. she cried and cried. It was death to her.. What would she do without love, without the man who had taken her virginity. She belonged to him. That is what her heart said. All the pain she had gone through was nothing because love it was. And you fall in love once.
It took her two years to come out of it. She told herself it was not love. She met many guys after that. Love was different. They were caring, respectful. It was confusing. What was it she had gone through?
She liked this new guy, who was so respectful and sweet. He never took a single step towards her without her permission. He respected her. She needed to learn to accept the new idea of love. It was difficult but she started to have fun. This guy never screamed at her. Never lifted even a finger at her. It was heaven. Her parents loved the new guy. She told him, what that old guy had done to her, now she understood what she had gone through was abuse. He stood by her and told her he will help her forget all that. He said he will be by her side till she wants him too. Till they both want to. They both thought finally they had found the one. Their life would be easier now.
But something changed. The old guy had called. He said he had changed. He said he was sorry. He cried. He begged her to take him back. She got confused. Old ideas about love came back to her.
After all love is forever and she had not been able to take him out of her head. She had always hoped he would change. Now he had. She could fulfill her dream after all. Her idea of love could be true. Her first love had transformed from a monster to a saint and it only took him 2 years of separation. He had learned the lesson after all.
Slowly, the new guy started feeling ignored. Slowly their communication ceased. He asked her what it was, she said nothing, you are thinking too much. There is nothing wrong. We are good. He knew they were not good. He took a backseat. He decided to give her space. He believed in equality. If he was respectful he wanted others to be the same. He felt empty, he was not getting the love he was giving. It was difficult to process that. He decided to divert his attention and got busy with other things.
A couple of months later, the new guy received a call. He didn't answer. He should have. She needed his help. He had drunk again. He had hit her again. He had not changed after all.
The new guy should have picked up the call because the old guy had left her bleeding.
It was love after all.
Footnote: I watched this docu Brave miss world last night. it inspired me to write this story that I saw in life. I feel speaking helps. Speak up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4l2D91KrdQ
