Poem of Desperation!!!

So much cry comes out of our hearts..
So much pain drips from our brains..
So much anxiety moves in our veins..
So much stress filled in our arteries.

With all this in our body..
We keep walking, talking, loving, laughing with others..
We all are the same in a sense..
We all are full of hurt in a sense..

How amazing it would be, if we could erase our pains..
But that's not how it is..
We all are build up to be desperate, needy,
 For love, for affection, for attention.

Why Why Why???

Why so much desperation.
Why not assurance
Why not peace
Why not love

Why our being is so complex ??

Why are we so complex??

Why can't it be relaxed..
Why we need to be right.

Why do we need approval for being who we are..

Oh Dear!!! The pain's so much in everyone's eyes..
It just just twists my heart in knots when i see them..

Why is not there a single person without desires.

Why is everyone so hungry?

What do we gain from all this?
What is the meaning of all the suffering..

People strive not to react..
They meditate, they do all sorts of stuff

Some read stars some smoke grass..

What for ???
To ease the pain..

Some drink themselves to numbness..

They don't want to feel..

I have tried so much and so many methods for a calm mind..

For a heart, which distinguishes amongst no one..

I have fought so much with myself..

I have climbed such tall stairs.

I slip again and again..

I fail again and again..

People get the illusion of something nice and lovely..

But it's the same mud they see in them or elsewhere,,

I guess I have only managed to polish the exterior..

When will the shine enter my heart.. my veins.. my nerves..

When will I be above the mundane..

What is my path??

What path do I take??

So many questions.. through so much pain.. through so much loss.

Oh God!!! What is this place?

Where you dropped us into..

Full of so much hate..
Full of so much arrogance
Full of so  much abuse..

Why have you made the vile things easier to imbibe..
Why ???

What game are you playing???

Everyday, Every hour, Every moment people debase themselves for selfish reasons..

What is the meaning of all this???

Why do we have to go through this?

Look for the positive you say, believe in love you say, believe in togetherness you say..

But the people who say they love you, are the ones doing the devil's work.

All we see is people working for themselves..

Why...

Why didn't you add care among the default settings?

Like a mother cares for her kids..

Why didn't you make us care for each other.

Why is being good a task?

So many questions... So many questions..

and no answers..

It is a war you say.. fight for the right side you say..

How do I know ???

Which side to fight for???

I can't even know myself ?

How would i know their hearts?

How would I know Which general to follow?

How Can I know ??? How will I know??

I can't I can't..

I'll keep writing poems of desperation..

Someday you give me an answer..

Till then I'll cry I'll cry..

And put my weapons down and wait for you to arrive..

Give me a lecture again.. like you did to Arjun..

It is no fun reading.. It makes no sense to me.. What you said to him..

Come be my Krishna.. I'll be in inertia till then..

I won't move an inch.. I won't support any one till you show me their hearts..

Make me see the truth.. or I resist to be a part of this Illusion you call life.

Time out god time out. I am not playing a rigged game anymore.

Time out!!!

-SA

"The Choice"

Standing at the crossroads of making a choice. A choice between comfort and security or fighting the war for your dream. A crossroad where you choose Sucess or uncertainty. What the heart wants is always so complicated but it won't leave you till you look for it. Work for it. Fight for it. The choice is simple but still, we are fearful to choose it.

What if we go look for it and it is not there. What if we go do it and realize we are incapable. We keep doing things where we are certainly incapable but won't do something we could easily excel at because it looks like a long shot. Not happening. Crazy . etc. etc.

So we keep doing safe things. Safe for you maybe. But if your heart is not in your work how do you think will it turn out to be. For the people, you are doing it for.

The choice is simple always follow your passion. As I read recently in 'My Gita' by Devdutt Pattanaik.  A Warrior cannot be turned into a poet or a poet into a warrior. We should respect the guna inherent in us. Gita doesn't talk about conversion but only the realization of potential.

What is our Potential? That is the question to answer. That is the question that we need to ask ourselves.

What is our inherent guna that needs to come out? What are you? Are you a mango tree or an apple tree?  What can you bear?  It is not about ambition or desire. It is simply the realization of potential. 

But since we are terrified of heartbreak, and so we refuse to fall in love, we are terrified of failing, and so we avoid struggles. We are terrified of the outcome and so we refuse to take any action. 

We always like to take the safe route. The road that can be seen. The road that looks clear miles ahead. A road that your heart wants to take is so dense with fog that you can't see even 5 feet ahead. So you get scared and change your track. What if the fog is just at the start? You will never know If you don't try that route? What else is there to figure out? Nothing.

Take the route your inherent guna wants you to take? What are you inside A trader or a worker, A king or a servant? a Poet or a warrior?

#References from My Gita- Devdutt Pattanaik. (the text in italics are as written in the book.)