TO,
The Incharge,
Universe.
Pincode - Infinity
Subject: I have been ignoring my work recently.
Dear Incharge,
If you hear me out. I am grateful for that. I have been told that being thankful is the most important thing in this life. If you are thankful for what you have you shall have more of that. Okay sounds good. I try and be optimistic about the life given to me, the people I have been given. Though at times I see myself being cynical not accepting the situations and people wholeheartedly. It is said, accept things for what they are and you cease to suffer. Do I suffer? I have no idea about that. I seem to be accepting everything and crib less. It could be superficially but yes I do try and be accepting of what has been handed to me. I am thankful for my talents and sense of understanding. Can't complain. It is a rich life up here in my head. I don't seem to be needing a lot of people. I also try not to look for validation which was a need when I was younger. I guess it is the same for everybody. It does get easier the questions do reduce about what this is all about? The why of our presence here. Whatever I have read or seen in other people's lives the WHY of it is so important. I have a lot of work to do but I don't seem to be doing that. I have been hurting people by not staying in touch or fulfilling my promises. The WHY of this behavior is also a mystery. I need to figure out the big WHY and it shall get easier maybe.. Or is it? that we have to keep pushing. Keep getting up, keep forcing ourselves to do what we have to? I am confused. I always believed in doing what my heart spoke of. I have been successful in a way. When I do something I do it with all my heart or not at all. That seems to be a problem. What can we do? What should we do? How do we survive in society?
These are all the questions that remain. I want a life of expression. A life where it is more about expressing who I am rather than impressing what I think I should be. I am what I am. That has to be the language of living every day. Personally, I feel dialogues such as these might give us some clarity. This is WHY I am writing to you. Lately, I feel uninspired. Lately, I don't feel like getting up. The excitement seems to be missing. Weirdly, I am doing what I always wanted to. What seems to be the problem then. I wish to read a lot more. I wish to act a lot more. I wish to write a lot more. All of these are in me without resistance. I don't have to make any extra effort to do these things. What seems to be missing then? People say you have to have a purpose. What purpose and for what? I would want my purpose to stay in the present and live rather than be a ghost of the future or of the past.
I would like to say NO to things I don't want to do. Not let people hang and be confused. I need to be kinder. And it seems living from the heart and at the moment could make me empathetic and kind. I wish to love and be loved but if I mistreat others that is all I shall receive. I understand that.
Today, I might take this opportunity to apologize for my lethargy and ignorance to every being that feels any hurt. I wish- I want- I would- from now on live each day as it comes. This way I will build a healthier life. I might fulfill my potential whatever that may be.
This has been quite an enriching experience writing to you. I feel freer than before. I shall be better I believe. Gratitude for all the love that you send my way. Gratitude for all the friends and family you send my way. Gratitude for all my teachers and the lessons you send my way. Gratitude for making me understand It is now what we have and it is now who we are.
So the WHY of this life has to be about the present. The Purpose has to be about clarity of the moment. It has to be about taking each breath as it comes.
Thank you.. Thank you..
Yours truly and always
A part of you that wants to figure itself out.
