Blocking or Not ???

PS. Blocking is discussed in the last three paras in bold. Rest is build up you can skip.

Recently, I made a decision.  That I will not go with the stupid flow. I took a decision. I always knew what i wanted but you don't get what you want but you get what you think you deserve.

I know my passion and interest towards acting as a profession is the only connection i have with the world. So, if  something defines your existence then it means, there is no where else for you to be man.

So as  a career choice, I would be doing roles in theater and wherever I find them and for the money and financial assistance. i write. The decision was taken in October.  This January, I'm doing quite a handful of plays, that keep me confused which character to think about. So the rule is after you know your character. you don't think about them. You think about that character on the way to the rehearsal.  It has worked quite well for me.

On Stage, I am feeling more and more confident and at ease. A sense of belonging is seeping in.  Though It's just been 6 shows in 2 months. Getting there.

Writing,  I have a paying project and a few potential ones. My situation may be scary for people who get nervous because of lack of money but not me, I am always looking at my lighthouse and it brings me to the coast usually.

So this is how my life is floating these days, but this is not what i sat down to write. After My first show in November, I felt lost. I faced the reality that the actor I am in front of camera has to adjust himself  on stage. I have found a way to work for camera. Giving my full attention for a shot of 2 minutes. to only think thoughts of my character in those moments was convenient. It was easy to be in the zone. But when for an entire duration of the play it was needed. I felt limited in my approach. I realized to give performances note worthy, it will take time. The actor I am in my head and in the eyes of my friends is not seen on stage. On stage, I was struggling to stay in character all the time. I was finding it a task to navigate. I felt like a beginner all over  again.

They say, Once you have learnt driving You can do it even after a few years. but I feel I stopped when I was getting good at it. I couldn't handle a lot of things then. I would get upset over small things. i was too sensitive then. that I stopped working with people if something happened.  I couldn't deal with altercation. Now as a actor I feed on them. Any situation is not a bad situation for me. they are all learning and storing option of emotions. It may  sound weird but I am glad these days by everything that I made to feel. whatever they maybe.

The more weird people are in my life, the more complicated they are, more chances of storing emotions experiences.

Also, I have changed my attitude. I don't judge people according to my standards and code. I accept them for their being. You are what you are. I accept you. You maybe be the biggest jerk or the sweetest person. But that's what you are. I see you and accept you. Why, it speeds my maturity. My friend recently said, you understand yourself more through interaction, good or bad. So, the point here is to interact more and more.

One thing, that bugged me about my performance was my reluctance to accept blocking. I believed If I understand the character and know who i am, I should be able to navigate on the stage. But in one of the shows, i felt constrained. I should not be thinking on stage while responding to my partner where i should go. It made me feel my believes about blocking were absolutely wrong. I called my senior Shubro sir (Shubrojyoti Barat) and asked for his time. He generously met me at Prithvi before he had a show.  I asked him this question, shared my experience. 

His response was that it is absolutely important. You cannot trust you sub conscious to come to your aid all the time what if it leaves you then you will be lost, like I was. Blocking is not just actors walking here and there on stage. Their positioning and gestures represent inner thoughts of the character, they add to what the words don't convey. Blocking & lines give the audience the complete picture of what the character is feeling. Like the script is written, on stage we don't say random lines. same goes with blocking. The director blocks you in such a way that the audiences gets you more. In the end it is about conveying, sharing the story with the audience. 

In a play, every thing should be sketched out before hand. On the show day, If blocking is as locked as lines. All you got to do on stage is be in the thoughts of your character. No distraction. When you know the way back home you reach home. Same goes for a performance.. The pathway should be drawn. If so you will reach home i.e, touch the audiences hearts. Make them feel what you are feeling.