My love, my reason, my passion, my prayer, You mean everything to me…….

Dear Sophiya,

My love, my reason, my passion, my prayer, You mean everything to me…….

Please don’t go… I have known you since I have known myself. I have loved you since I have known love. It can’t be just a coincidence that we were neighbors’ since our childhood. Our families moved in together in the locality of hariganj, Dehradun. The first time I saw you in a yellow dress, how much I used to tease you for that. It is not that you were the first girl and the one whom I knew more than any other girl. I don’t believe it was just a coincidence or chance or circumstance that led us to love each other more than anything else. I just can’t.

We are more special than these silly justifications. Sometimes I used to think I am the luckiest man on earth. I have known my love, my partner, my soul mate since the age of 5. How many of us are that lucky? Do you remember when you were ill and I also didn’t go to school. How my family came to know…. And stopped me from coming to your house………. I wonder what I will do when you are not there.. what what …..what …what… why are you Sops tell me whay why????? Why are you leaving?? I am wiping my tears……can you feel that … oh yes how can you??? How could sops how could you HOW????

Remember what you said when we discovered our love as to love as man woman….. when we decided we are going to marry. It was not that tough for us to find this out. We were so much in our own worlds that we just knew…. You said you loved me and you could only love me for your entire life . So what happens now why are you leaving….. I don’t know what to do what to write….. It is as if my life is blowing apart after you go my life will just be blank……. I will be a big Zero nothing just nothing. You know I am very angry… no… no.. I am angry at myself . I can’t even think of that. Why did I love you so much??? I wonder why is it like we don’t have control over our life.???

I hope you didn’t miss being with others…. I don’t …… You said to me “ you will find someone”. No I will not…. I cannot… maybe after you have gone for a long time I will try……… and you know what….. I will not find anyone.. no one else can understand me as you have, even you know that, “ you even understand my breathe ” Who can go for these micro details only a crack like you, only a sweetheart like you, only a lovely person like you….. even I will not be able to adjust J I am tuned to your vibrations like a radio responds to signals… you know I can’t , I have lost my ability to adjust with others, living in the comfort zone with……

I believe I have pleaded much……. You made me promise that I will not follow you to your destination. I have promised but ….. ok I will remember the promise but I have a request my love……………

I am just 23, I have whole life to live, how will I survive without you. If I fail, if I am unable to live happily, if I can’t find anyone else.

Can I come to you…… can I follow the path that you were forced to take

pleaseeeeeeeeee you never say no to me.

I promise you, I will try………………………

only yours

Sonu Anand.

PS. Fiction